I get asked this question on a regular basis, which can be weekly, daily, and sometimes even hourly. I HATE this question because it is not really any body's business. At this time I am quite content with the healthy, happy, super smart 2 year old I have. I never wanted to have an only child, but over time I have grown more and more fond of this idea. After Nathan and I got married I always said I wanted 3 kids and he said 1, so 2 was a wonderful compromise in his eyes. I am now ready to go with his idea of K being an only child. I never wanted this for her because well my experience with only children is quite interesting. I married an only child and seriously dated an only child. The two most significant relationships I have ever had with the opposite sex were both with an only child. The way they were raised were polar opposites and the way the ended up were polar opposites and I knew from the get go I did not want this for K.
However, in my eyes a non-stop vomiting, so tired I slept my weekends away, horribly uncomfortable pregnancy led me to realize maybe K being an only child isn't so horrible. Not to mention a terribly long Pitocin ridden labor that finally ended in a semi-emergency c-section really took its toll on me. Over 2.5 years later I still have residual pain from my c-section and just cannot rack my brain around doing it again. This may be selfish and in many people's eyes it is. How can I let K grow up without a sibling? No one in our family has ever had an only child! What if something happens to you and Nathan, don't you want her to have someone? All of these are valid points and as much as I want K to have a brother or a sister I really don't want to put my body through all that again. Besides potty training, which she refuses to do, we are so far from the baby stage that I really don't know if I ever even want to do that again. K was such a good baby I feel the next one might jinx us.
I know there are other options, like adoption, but seriously we can't afford that and that seems like a craps shoot to me. You never know what you're going to get, but I guess the same could be said for K.
I have spoken to several friends who have an only child and they said their child is not missing out. They have friends, cousins, and family members who can fill the void and they feel their child is getting the best of them. I respect and admire every mom who has more than one child and has put their body through labor and delivery more than once. I know if K had a sibling we would make it work and there would be plenty of love to go around, but right now I see the sky as limitless with only her and cloud ridden if we have more. I think K can grow up and not be spoiled and well behaved if we teach her right from wrong and give her opportunities to give.
In time we may change our mind and I can look back at this post and laugh, but then I'm sure I'll get the why did you wait so long, they can't possibly be close if they are so far apart. So I guess I'll never win because I didn't have my next child the typical 2.5 years later.
So please don't judge a book by its cover and take a minute before you ask the dreaded question because the person may not have an answer or you may not like the one they give you!
And just because a super cute picture of K:
Of course I get the same question but with a different tone. It's only the couple's business on what they decide.
ReplyDeleteYou have to decide what is best for your family and if that's one child than it's one child. K has so many family members that love her and would do anything for her so I don't understand what she'd be missing out on. Plus if you ever want to rent a brother or sister, I have plenty to choose from. ;-)
And that is one adorable picture of K. She's such a sweetie. I can't believe how big she has gotten.